Saturday, March 04, 2006

Inside Me

For the past five years every single day was an attempt to combat the hardships and barriers posed by the surroundings, there were times when I succeeded and craved to celebrate it with someone special and close to heart. On the other hand, there were times when I could not stand up to the expectations and had to surrender. Even then I fell short of a comforting hand. As time passed by, my entire perception towards various aspects of life took a new mold. No more did I need that comforting hand to lift up my spirits and encourage me to fight back into the battle. I fought and earned my independence by myself, devised my own methods to cruise smoothly through destitution. It was a victory of intelligence over emotions. But then the internal battles weren’t over yet, only the external were answered. Mind games are hard to tackle; their intricacy levels can soar far beyond the control of a common man. Heart plays its own tricks; once it takes on the reign of your chariot, it has a potential to paralyze the intellectual thinking machine. I couldn’t stay far from being bitten by them and it gave birth to internal battles raging within my system. It was a tug of war between the two most imperative powers governing the entire universe: “Brain” and “Heart”. The organisms in which one of them is anesthetized are able to relieve themselves from this painful brawl (Wish I was amongst them). Both of them swung me between extreme ends and tested my patience and strength. The result: Victory of the Brain was at the cost of suffering for the Heart and the triumph of the Heart was at the cost of weakened intellectuality of the Brain. Eventually this turmoil surfaced and began making an impact on my external actions and interface with the surroundings. At the end of the day, I was the only one who endured the trials and tribulation caused by the two integral and inseparable parts of me. It was stressful to see either of them in pain and discomfort. In due course of time I strove hard to pacify these intense battles, even then at certain occasions their enmity left me shattered. But after immense efforts, now I have managed to overcome its vigor to a large extend. People who know me are never exposed to this side of me; hence they might not be able to relate to what I am saying. How does it even matter now, when it’s up to me to decide; whether it’s a battle of the Brain and Heart or is it a battle between their combined forces against Me ….

Time and Friends

There is something in the vast universe that eclipses all the advancement mankind has ever made or possibly can think of, making him a puny creature circumvented by the Kingdom of Time. Right from Aristotle to Galileo, Copernicus to Stephan Hawkins, there have been many theories proposed and proven, but their mentors have diminished somewhere in deep trenches of time. None of them have been able to stand against the ruler of this vast unbounded territory. Many have diminished; many are yet to make their mark in the pages of history. Let time judge for itself. Just the other day I reached home at my usual midnight hour and got glued to the PC after finishing off with my dinner. I opened the group photographs of my junior and primary school posted on the board by a friend. It spontaneously brought a vibrant smile across my face. It transported me to a vivid image of my dreams about this embryonic world where am with my contemporaries having a feast of my life, relishing every moment, oblivious to the surroundings. A world nurtured with innocence, a world of peace and brotherhood, a world free from tribulations. But I was soon pulled back to veracity by a phone call. Once done with the conversation I immediately shifted my attention to the picture on the desktop. I then realized how our paths diverged once we passed out of school. Was it destiny that had brought all of us together? Was there some purpose behind each of us being together for a phase in our lives? It’s been ages since I met all those who stand alongside in the picture. We all are striving to pursue and reach the goals set by us and somewhere in this process have lost the touch, though at the back of our minds we still have vague memories of yesteryears. It feels good that technology has gifted us means to bridge this gap and enable us to stay together in this walk of life, to hold each others hands and sail through this journey of time which we began from a common point. I am a firm believer in Destiny. Though it’s a maxim that one shapes his/her own destiny, but there is definitely a driving force which is responsible for certain actions that we unintentionally perform.