Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Nailed Down

It was the time of the year I always looked forward to. Coming home on Diwali was something that was eagerly awaited by all my family members. It’s been almost 7 yrs now and I can hardly remember occasions when all of us were under one roof at a given point of time. Since I walked out of my primary institution leaving golden memories behind, life has been a different ball game all along. The process of learning, the art of surviving, the tricks for excelling … etc. has never taken a backseat since then. But it’s always healthy to travel back to the moments you think were the brightest spots in your life. And who better than your comrades during that phase can help you relive them. As usual, the moment I stepped inside my home, I was nothing less than a crocodile taking a sunbath on a winter day. Not that I am smacked by metal chains at my workplace and deprived of sleep, but there is definitely something about the comfort of home, that just makes me hibernate as though am a victim of Jetlag. My friends who are very well aware of this phenomenon do not bother to buzz me for a few days, nor do they ask me about how I spent my first few days here. It was always fun to meet them till the time we all were graduating. But then it seemed as though Cupid declared his last trip on planet Earth and none of them wanted to let this opportunity go off their hands. Every time I had a word with them, I got to hear about someone or the other getting nailed down into a permanent, committed and so called LEGAL relationship. Yes, the term “nailed down” is what I would refer to it throughout, doesn’t matter if it sounds iterative. Initially there was a ray of excitement with every incoming surprise. But guess what, initially my new handset excited me too, but with days passing by, it was nothing more than an instrument used for making calls and messaging for me. For those who felt offended by that comparison need to realign their thought process, as I dint target the statement at what they thought it to be. Soon all the surprises and excitement began to materialize and in no time did I realize that the jerseys of all my friends I would have generally hung out with during my vacation have already been retired in the arena. Now they all had their own families to attend to and their priorities had changed. To add some weight to the entire heavy feeling, I realized that all my elder sisters were married too. Hence, their priorities too were realigned to some extent. This left me with not many options and resulted in the hibernation period getting extended till the last day of my vacation. As a kid, I was always very excited about this festival, as this satiated my destructive tendencies in the safest possible manner. At the same time, it was an occasion to pamper my sweet tooth. But off lately, seems I got too much inspired by the phony nature preservation campaigns by our celebrities and I lost all my interest in bombarding the lawn outside my home. Even though I preferred planting them in my school campus :):):) hi hi hi … I just spilled some beans ;-). Thanks to my genetics, I had to keep a watch on what I eat and my workout regularly, which went on a major toss while this croc was out of the marshy land and enjoying a vacation in the Bahamas. So in a short, Diwali vacation was like another break for me, just that being a major festival, it made my leaves approval at workplace a little easier.

There was another twist to the tale which I dint see coming in the beginning. During my conversation with mom, at times I would tell her about my friends who were getting married. It wasn’t a major concern for her until my youngest sister also got nailed down two years back and then I was the only one they could see next in row standing with a “Prospective Bachelor” placard in my hand. It took me a while to understand the grave I was digging for myself during the happiness sharing conversation. For some vague reasons, people outside your family are more concerned about your marriage than you yourself. With their constant bickering it was pretty obvious that my folks became more concerned than ever about me loitering and haggling with my life alone all these years. Hence, the new version of my vacations passed by trying to avoid certain topics from invading my conversation with my folks as there were certain ideology clashes happening on that front and none of us were eager to step back from our lines of formation. Then I would soon be spotting ancient cavemen from some forbidden corner of Earth raiding my house and making attempts to bring back my memories of taking piggyback rides on their back as a kid. Even if I couldn’t recollect a shit about those bumpy rides, I would just smile back nodding my head as though the mere thought of those good old days made me feel like a wizard riding a white unicorn in lush green meadows. Just before I began to act like one, they would pop up their favorite topic of “How to crucify Indian youth during the happiest phase of their lives”. With the most obvious and cheeky grin they would talk about how my folks could retire and take a dip in holy Ganges by nailing down their last burden “ASAP”. All along they would be juggling their glance between me and my folks to see the contrasting reactions and to analyse if their only chance to witness the fountain of youth would be materialised if their master plan was successfully executed. They were the same warriors who were pillaging our territories when my sisters were the celebrities on the Hot-Seat. Somehow their fake rubber bullets were never able to penetrate through my system.

Cornered from almost all possible directions inside my home, I thought of rushing out for fresh air. My comrades from childhood days were there for my help. We were having a school reunion party being thrown in order to wake up our already expired alumni. Now this was the place I was expecting to see like minded people, who would give me some company and be a part of a common tribe inflicted with similar disease. I had a hunch that I would bump into familiar faces I bump into on the networking sites, in my messenger friends list, in my phonebook, in my address book, maybe there would be one out the blue new entry this time. Soon I ended my speculations as I entered the venue. It was pretty much as I had expected it to be. The juniors whom we pulled out of their lines during school days for breaking some stupid rule were all grown up; their hair longer than the belt holding their trousers. As usual, my bunch of pals was well inside my line of sight and I joined their army in the beehive located right in the center of the floor. There were a few blood diamonds coming in, who would react nothing less than the winner of a beauty pageant as though you were a piece of amusement for them. Their phony reactions were as always unbearable. They made every attempt to make you believe how miserable their lives had been until they saw you a moment back only to vanish back into their superficial black holes and never reappear again. And I must honour the respectable nerds I always avoided and prayed they would change, but alas, the world is not enough for them. While we were catching up on one another and keeping our eyes on everyone from our posts, I saw this gal with a million dollar smile waving in my direction. Since I couldn’t recollect who it was, I thought probably it wasn’t me that she was waving at. But I couldn’t see any change in her reaction and I tugged my pal next to me confirming if that gal was waving at us. Even before we could mutually reach a conclusion, she was already heading towards us. Memory lapse took backstage and we laughed on our sides of the incident just happened. The predator I was escaping from once again located me under its GPS. She was also getting nailed down soon, even before it was time to change our calendars. For some unexplained phenomena, I had this feeling that this was just the beginning of how miserable things might be getting soon. It wasn’t surprising anymore as my instincts never failed me. Most of my pals who got married … err … nailed down exactly seven months back were already ahead of most of us in increasing their headcount. There was similar news flowing from every possible corner and I just looked up in the sky and a formation of clouds apparently gave me an impression of a wicked smile. Am sure it wasn’t Eros, or Aphrodite, or Cupid, or Pan … for me THIS was IT, this was Satan, the end. The scale was now getting unbalanced with most of my comrades taking the subway to the other side. The only door, I thought would open to the city of similar faces was nothing but a mirage. I found myself trapped from all directions, LOL … yeah … reminds me of the famous last words from my then spinster sisters “Don’t smile, it’s gonna be your turn soon”.

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At 2:24 AM, Blogger rups said...

damn gud. btw how many girls u have slected??????????


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