Saturday, March 04, 2006

Inside Me


For the past five years every single day was an attempt to combat the hardships and barriers posed by the surroundings, there were times when I succeeded and craved to celebrate it with someone special and close to heart. On the other hand, there were times when I could not stand up to the expectations and had to surrender. Even then I fell short of a comforting hand. As time passed by, my entire perception towards various aspects of life took a new mold. No more did I need that comforting hand to lift up my spirits and encourage me to fight back into the battle. I fought and earned my independence by myself, devised my own methods to cruise smoothly through destitution. It was a victory of intelligence over emotions. But then the internal battles weren’t over yet, only the external were answered. Mind games are hard to tackle; their intricacy levels can soar far beyond the control of a common man. Heart plays its own tricks; once it takes on the reign of your chariot, it has a potential to paralyze the intellectual thinking machine. I couldn’t stay far from being bitten by them and it gave birth to internal battles raging within my system. It was a tug of war between the two most imperative powers governing the entire universe: “Brain” and “Heart”. The organisms in which one of them is anesthetized are able to relieve themselves from this painful brawl (Wish I was amongst them). Both of them swung me between extreme ends and tested my patience and strength. The result: Victory of the Brain was at the cost of suffering for the Heart and the triumph of the Heart was at the cost of weakened intellectuality of the Brain. Eventually this turmoil surfaced and began making an impact on my external actions and interface with the surroundings. At the end of the day, I was the only one who endured the trials and tribulation caused by the two integral and inseparable parts of me. It was stressful to see either of them in pain and discomfort. In due course of time I strove hard to pacify these intense battles, even then at certain occasions their enmity left me shattered. But after immense efforts, now I have managed to overcome its vigor to a large extend. People who know me are never exposed to this side of me; hence they might not be able to relate to what I am saying. How does it even matter now, when it’s up to me to decide; whether it’s a battle of the Brain and Heart or is it a battle between their combined forces against Me ….

4 Comments:

At 4:20 AM, Blogger yogesh said...

kya baat hai kakke.....gud one keep writing

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger moonstruck maniac said...

hmmmm nice.....

 
At 6:06 AM, Blogger Rachana said...

a wonderful article Sid......relates to everyone.......

 
At 11:57 PM, Blogger only-sanjukta said...

i do agree that happens..its like running the knife over cold wound...the place goes dead..and it becomes a wall of defence...
we all sure do go thru experiences...which are different..yest so so planned in a single formule..and by some string are we all connected....
u visited one blog
do visit the other where i store my poems....they are quite disguised though....

 

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